


Happy Ending

by GlassRose



Category: Constantine (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Can you believe?, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e17 Flash Back, also the graphic depictions of violence thing is not THAT graphic, basically the only warning here is the f-slur is used a couple times, but starting right after Sound and the Fury, hartley has issues, hartley wants a happy ending, just the second version
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21625000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRose/pseuds/GlassRose
Summary: After Hartley temporarily saves the day by spooking the Time Wraith, things go a bit differently than they could have. Cisco asks for his help finding Ronnie, and Hartley has a year to figure out how to kill a Time Wraith. But he doesn't want to work with Wells, he misses his boyfriend, who was vaporized in the particle accelerator explosion, and things always seem to go wrong for him. How is he supposed to make a life when the world is out to get him?Also, is it a good idea or a bad idea to attempt a one night stand with a Liverpudlian exorcist when you're being attacked by a strange meta and still mourning your dead boyfriend who is definitely dead?
Relationships: Hartley Rathaway/Original Male Character(s), John Constantine/Hartley Rathaway
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Flash Back, but for Hartley and Cisco and Caitlin, not for Barry. We begin the same day Hartley saves Caitlin and Cisco by spooking the Time Wraith, after they send Barry back to his present time, and Hartley sneaks off.
> 
> Because I like comics Hartley's origin, this assumes that Hartley was born deaf and his family had him get (sci-fi type) hearing implants as a baby, and the dark matter explosion interacted with the implants to give him his meta powers.

Cisco found Hartley at twilight. He was leaning on a pier railing, staring at the water. "Would you take the tracker out of my hearing aids?" he said as Cisco approached. "I can hear it. It's annoying."

"Not worth taking it out, though, I notice," Cisco said.

"Hmm, debilitating agony and constant shrieking in my left ear or you following me around? It was hardly a choice. You came alone though. How brave."

"Look," Cisco said, "I know you're angry at Wells."

"You think?"

"But we could use your help."

"Wow. Are you playing Caitlin now? Are you sure you don't want to lock me up in your special prison for monsters? Because, you know, I am."

"Fine, be a douche. I bet you make lots of friends that way."

Hartley pulled his hood up. "You never asked, of course, but you remember my boyfriend, Liam?"

"You had a boyfriend? Someone actually wanted to spend that much time near you?"

Hartley ignored the dig. "When the accelerator exploded, he vaporized in front of me."

"Oh my god. Hartley, I didn't know."

"Wells threatened to ruin me. Not only did he know the accelerator  _ could  _ explode, but he knew that it would. If you think he didn't plan this, you're an idiot. But then, that's true anyway."

"You're not the only one who lost someone that day," Cisco said. "Hartley, if you know where Ronnie is, you have to tell us."

"Right, of course. Because you people get happy endings...and we don't."

"Who? Morally ambiguous demi-villains?"

Hartley sighed heavily. "No. You wouldn't understand. Or maybe you would and you just don't know it yet, but that's not important. I just know we don't get happy endings because...I can't remember ever seeing one. But I hoped, and I was wrong. Of course. Liam's dead."

"I'm sorry."

Hartley crossed his arms. "I'm not helping Wells. Fuck him. But…" He sighed heavily. "I suppose I want my hearing aid fixed."

"Not just because it's the right thing to do?"

"No."

"It's not a good start to a redemption arc."

"Why would I be looking for redemption? The worst things I've done, based on punishment meted out, is try to save lives and be gay."

"Why don't you come back? Look, you could be on the team again. You're a complete dick, but you're our dick, and we could use your help against that dementor thing."

Hartley scoffed. "What's the point?"

"You want a happy ending? Earn it," Cisco said.

Hartley turned around, a sneer on his face. "You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you? Jack always gets beaten to death. Tara always takes the stray bullet. Achilles and Patroclus die on the battlefield. Apart. Always. Did I  _ earn _ the world's worst case of tinnitus? Did I  _ earn _ my boyfriend being torn apart in front of me? Did I fucking earn the man I trusted betraying me and leaving my body and my life in ruins?"

"Oh please. Your body's fine."

"You're right. Constant agonizing feedback in my eardrums is normal and fine."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a drama queen?"

"You wanted me to be the bad guy. I was trying to make it easy for you. Now you had to go and make it hard. And for the record, I am deaf, you understand that, right? My ears are fucked. If I don't have my hearing aids, I am in pain and I can only hear this nightmarish cacophony. My ears are part of my body, and the accelerator fucked up my implants and my ears. I'm not just being dramatic here."

"All right, all right."

Hartley sighed. "I'll work on the time--whatever the fuck it was. I'm not working with Wells. I want a public apology and for him to go to jail. I don't want him near me. You shouldn't work with him either, if you want to protect yourself. And I want my gauntlets back."

"Uh, yeah, I don't think so."

"Do you want my help or not? Also, I want my wallet back."

"All right, I'll remove the tracker, you tell us where Ronnie is, and you can work on the time wraith problem under supervision."

"No."

"You just tried to kill the Flash."

"You really think that's true?" Hartley said. "You can't be this stupid."

"You just...tried to infiltrate STAR Labs to get at Wells."

"There you go."

"Under supervision, for now. And I'll get you your wallet back so you can buy supervillain stuff."

Hartley's lip curled. "Not to tug at your heartstrings, but I just want the picture in it back."

Cisco just said, "Oh." Hartley flinched as Cisco put a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know," Cisco said. "I'm sorry."

"Flash can travel in time."

"If he undoes that night he'll create a paradox."

"Right. Well. That, and the universe has a mission." He shrugged Cisco's hand away.

"Oh, how original. A cheap villain with a persecution complex."

Hartley raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "Did you just tell a disabled gay man he has a persecution complex?"

"No, I, a Latino, told  _ you _ , a rich white man."

"I'm not rich anymore, since my rich parents disowned me for  _ being gay _ . It's not a separable facet of my identity. It informs my entire existence and always will."

"Okay, well. I guess I don't know about that specifically, just like you don't know what it's like to be me."

"Hmm. That's the smartest thing you've said all day."

"Why do you gotta be such a dick?"

Cisco was expecting a snappy comeback, but Hartley choked on whatever he was about to say and turned away.

"Because you're hurting," Cisco said softly.

"Do you fucking think?" Hartley bit out. "He was the one good thing, and…"

"Hartley." Cisco walked around him and tried to hug him. "Let us help, man."

"Go away," Hartley said, but he was crying and he didn't stop Cisco from putting his arms around him.

Cisco pulled away after a minute. "We can figure it out."

Hartley shook his head, looking down.

"Come on. Let's go fix your hearing aid. At least you can help Caitlin."

"I don't want to help her," Hartley said, but there was no heat behind it. He followed Cisco to his car. "I want someone else to feel the way I feel."

"She does," Cisco said. "But wouldn't you give anything to get him back? Imagine how happy she could be."

"She doesn't," Hartley said, getting in the passenger seat. "She doesn't feel that way. It's different. It will always be different. We are different. Our stories are different. It's not fair. I'll do it. But it's not fair."

Cisco started the car. "I don't think anything about that night was fair."

"I want him dead. That would be fair."

"We're not killing Wells."

"Fine, but you'll see. When he ruins everyone else's lives, you'll see."

"Sure, whatever." Cisco squeezed Hartley's shoulder. "Things will get better."

"If you keep touching me like that, you'll catch the gay."

Cisco removed his hand. "You'd like that."

"Don't get cocky. I have standards."

"Please. No one is cooler than me. I make you cooler just by proximity."

"Ah yes," Hartley said. "Which is clearly the most important thing." He sniffled and looked out the window.

"Hey, what exactly are you hearing? The tracker should be silent."

"Maybe you're incompetent."

"No, I'm pretty amazing. I think you're lying."

"Believe what you want. I don't care."

Cisco eyed him, but the rest of the car ride was silent.

Hartley accepted a pair of headphones from Cisco warily. "If you play that song again--"

Cisco grinned. "You'll what?"

"Not fucking tell you where Ronnie is."

"Fine, fine. What do you like, Mozart or something?"

"Play the frequencies. Skip the music. I'm not in the mood."

"Sure."

Hartley gritted his teeth against the overwhelming tide of way, way too much noise, more than any human should ever be able to hear, all shrieking like feedback from an amp turned up way past eleven, as he popped out the tagged hearing aid and gave it to Cisco. The headphones mitigated the barrage of sound, though not quite as effectively, and he waited for the hearing aid to be fixed. "I could do it myself," he said. "But the ones I made have to be actually implanted, which is not fun. I'm kind of pissed you figured out a way to do it without that."

"See, collaboration is good! And I'm awesome. You're just mean."

"They'll probably fall out."

"No way, not my designs. But seriously, if the pain is that bad, how did you even manage to make these?"

"A lot of screaming and crying. Of course, that was already happening aside from the physical pain. I was desperate, everyone else was busy, I stayed up for thirty hours diagnosing myself and making a jury-rigged version."

"Do you have super hearing? Is that what's going on? I don't understand how head trauma would do this."

"You're not a doctor."

"You're a meta. Aren't you?"

"You don't know everything. You'd like for it to be that easy, wouldn't you?"

"You're dodging the question."

"You're making up a fantasy with me in it."

"Fine, be that way. But if you're a meta, do you think maybe Liam--"

"Stop."

"Sorry."

"If you say it, then I'll think it again. And I have been trying so hard not to hope. Because I will never get on with my life if I'm just waiting for him to come back to me. He hasn't yet. I have to assume he just. Died."

"Right. All right." Cisco handed Hartley the repaired hearing aid. "No more tracker. So if you cut and run, I am going to be super pissed."

"Just keep him away from me." Hartley whimpered in pain between removing the headphones and putting in the hearing aid, but then sighed in relief. "Okay. Good. I don't hear it."

"'Thank you, Cisco.'"

"Fuck you. And I'll take you tomorrow. You'll want daylight. I don't know where he goes at night."

"All right. Where are you staying?"

"My apartment."

"Oh. No secret lair?"

"Nope."

"Listen, if there's any chance...if Liam is still out there--"

"Don't."

"We'll help."

"Fuck off."

"I'm just saying."

"Good for you."

Cisco began packing up his tools. "Have you had dinner?"

"No."

"You wanna get Chinese?"

"No. Why are you trying to be my friend? This afternoon you forced me to listen to Rick Astley for an hour out of spite. You don't even like me."

"Because I think you need one more than you need to be locked up or punished. Also, that's a love song, so I feel you're misinterpreting my motivations."

Hartley rolled his eyes. "Your nobility is naive at best."

"Um, rude, because clearly I'm being practical here, and I'd rather have a friend and ally than a prisoner. Can't that be enough for now?"

Hartley bit back a retort and looked down at his hands. "Maybe."

"Spite is fun but only for so long."

"It is just like you to diminish my grievances to 'spite'. That man lied and nearly destroyed the whole city. He did it on purpose. I'm sure of it. We could have prevented that explosion. Instead, he had me escorted out by armed guards with the threat of ruining my career." Hartley laughed bitterly. "That happened anyway. There is something else going on here you don't want to find out. But I do. And he'll betray you too, the moment you get in his way." He stood up. "I'm going home. I'll show you what happened to Ronnie tomorrow."

"God, I need a cat," Hartley muttered, opening his door to an empty, dark apartment. He flicked on the lights and walked past the framed picture of himself and Liam.

He wasn't sure if the day was a failure or a success, but knowing that he'd beaten Team Flash before--at least enough that Barry made a point of countering all his moves--was at least a little bit satisfying. And if Cisco was reaching out so fast...well. He could use that.

And maybe it wasn't worth it. Because eventually Wells would reveal his true colors, and then Hartley would have Cisco and Caitlin on his side, and Barry too. And in the meantime, he'd get to work at STAR Labs again. Maybe Caitlin would have a way to fix his ears. But then again, maybe he didn't want her to. He could hear supersonic frequencies, and that was really useful. If only it didn't hurt so damn much.

If only everything didn't hurt so damn much. If only he had ever had a chance at a happy ending. He picked up the photograph of Liam and shook his head at his own stupidity even as he said, "If you're there...just...give me a sign. Anything. I'll do anything. Please."

But there was only silence, no change in local frequencies at all, and Hartley put the picture aside, angry with himself and with Cisco for letting him hope again. He briefly contemplated doing his hair and going out. It was only nine, he was young and attractive, and he wouldn't mind getting some meaningless touch. But the pounding music of dance clubs just made him queasy, and there weren't a lot of queer venues in Central City to begin with. He'd lost touch with so many people, though, and a lot of them spent many evenings there.

In the end, he scrounged up some dinner and went to bed on time, reasoning that if he did get a boy home, he'd oversleep, and then Cisco would come banging on his door in the morning, and he didn't want to deal with it. For the first time in weeks, he dreamed of Liam turning to nothing in front of him and woke in a sweat.

He drove to STAR Labs in the morning, because as angry as he was, he had promised Cisco that he'd help Ronnie, and if his whole plan was shot, he could at least fix that. Besides, the more trust he earned, the closer he'd get to Wells' secret. And...maybe he did need friends.

Wells tried to talk to him on the way in. "Hartley, I--"

"I hope you die alone while cats eat your face," Hartley said, flipping him off and refusing to look at him. "I hope you get erased from existence. Someday team Flash will know what a monster you are."

"If you work here--"

"You destroyed my body and murdered the love of my life. That I tolerate you in the same building is way more than enough. I want a public apology and I want you in prison. Don't talk to me." He stalked past Wells and into the main lab. "Okay," he said to Caitlin. "You coming?"

"I--what?"

"Okay, clearly he didn't tell you. I know where Ronnie is. Let's go. I'll show you."

Caitlin froze. "What?" she said in a very icy tone.

Cisco chose that moment to enter. "Oh, hey. You did come."

"You didn't tell her."

"I was trying to be careful."

Caitlin slapped Hartley.

"Ow! Jesus! Not the--AGH!" He resettled his hearing aid. "What part of 'pain you can only imagine' is so hard for you people?"

"You knew where he was and you didn't tell me!" she shouted, swinging at him.

"I'm telling you now!" He dodged her. "I'll take you! Stop hitting me! Cisco!"

Cisco watched for a couple more swings and then got between them. "Caitlin, he lost his boyfriend that day."

"Oh my god," she said. "I didn't know." She stood tall. "But you have to take me to Ronnie."

"I said I would, god, but not if you hit me again."

"Okay," she said in a calm, deadly voice. "We're going now."

The reunion was difficult but in the end, it worked out, and the straights got to be together again, and Hartley was still alone. He went home. Alone. Wished for a cat. Stared in the mirror for ten minutes before showering, doing his hair, throwing on some eyeliner and tight pants, and going out. But his "sulky bitch" vibe didn't attract much attention and he went home alone again. Stared at the ceiling, eye makeup smudged. His life sucked. He missed Liam. Liam made everything better.

But Liam was gone, and Hartley was still here. He couldn't go back to that night--although Flash could, but Flash wouldn't, and if he did, the kind of paradox it'd create was pretty much unthinkable--and he shouldn't dwell on it anymore. "You are gone, right? Because all I need is a sign. You know I'd work forever to get you back. If you needed it. If you're there." Silence again, of course, and Hartley's throat hurt.

He had to move on. Maybe he even had to move past revenge fantasies. Wells would get his, but only once the rest of the team saw his true colors. In the meantime, Hartley had to rebuild his own life. Going out to clubs was all well and good--meaningless touch, maybe even sex--but he needed friends, and the hetero STAR Labs gang was not enough. He rolled over and pulled out his phone and looked up local LGBT groups and animal shelters. Maybe he wasn't ready to date, but a man's got to have someone to text "can you believe this shit" about hetero shenanigans.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is out of time.

He didn't get the cat for awhile. He did join one of the LGBT groups--the one that wasn't weirdly elitist like they'd already forgotten Stonewall or didn't care--and met a bisexual woman--Lena--whose favorite shirt had a leopard shark on it. He worked on options for hurting the time wraith, still under supervision. Wells made a public apology, but didn't name Hartley as the aggrieved party, and for some unknown reason, didn't go to prison.

One evening, as Hartley was eating dinner alone and contemplating getting a cat again, the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting anyone, so he hit the intercom. "Who is it?"

"Hartley? It's Jerrie."

Jerrie. Little sister. Oh no. "Okay," he said, buzzing her in. He opened the door and waited.

"I've been looking for you," she said, coming up the stairs. "I miss you."

"Wow, even after what I did to Dad's company building?"

"That was you?" she said, surprised. "Everyone just says 'that crazy meta in a hood the Flash captured'."

"If I'd wanted to take down the building, rest assured, I would have. I still might. You better not be here on their behalf. I don't want to hear anything from them."

"I know. They're...they're getting better. I think. I've been trying to shove liberal articles in their faces." She kicked the floor awkwardly. "Oh! I brought you this." She took off her backpack and pulled out a smaller case. "I wasn't sure if you got a new one, or just dropped it, but here."

"My flute," he said. "Thanks."

"I figured you'd at least want the super expensive one even if you did have a new one."

"I don't."

"So…" she said, looking around. "This place is nice." She spotted the photograph. "Oh! Who's this?" She picked it up.

Hartley smiled flatly. "That's Liam."

"He's cute."

"He was, yes."

"Was? What happened?"

"The particle accelerator explosion. He didn't...he…he died."

"Oh, Hartley. I'm so sorry. Was he your boyfriend?"

Hartley nodded tightly. "We don't get happy endings."

Jerrie looked sad. "That's not true. We can."

"Not you. Us."

"Oh, okay. But no, that's not true either."

"Sure feels like it."

She hugged him. He stiffened. "I know there's someone out there for you."

"There was, he died."

"Someone else."

"Sure, well. You saw Buffy. Every story's the same."

"Oh, but there was Kennedy."

"No one gives a shit about Kennedy, Jerrie."

"I liked Kennedy," she muttered. She cocked her head. "What's in your ears?"

"I'm deaf," he said. "Basically."

"I know, but the implants always worked before, what happened?"

"Same day. I was messing with my sonic research, and the accelerator exploded, and bang. Implants are like, supercharged or something. I have the most severe and painful case of tinnitus ever recorded. If I don't wear these, it's like constant shrieking feedback in my head."

"Fuck. That sucks ass. You okay though? Those…"

"Hearing aids."

"...hearing aids work?"

"Yeah, they work. But it's like coming out all over again. I'm learning ASL, and no one seems to believe that I'm disabled, because I can communicate mostly normally. I actually had a guy almost come home with me until he saw that I wear hearing aids and then he freaked out because they're ugly, or I'm not a perfect fantasy. Men are so shallow. Don't date them."

"But...you wear glasses too."

"That's what I said! He didn't see the connection."

"Myopia is more normalized," she said, tapping her own glasses. "People think it's a fashion statement. Well, yours are anyway. But you've always had an eye for your image. I don't even know what kind of jeans are in right now."

"Bell bottoms."

"Okay, I know  _ that _ isn't true."

Hartley smiled. "You want dinner? I have extra."

"Oh, I ate, but thanks. I want your phone number, that's what I want."

"Yeah. Okay. But you can't give it to Mom and Dad."

"Cross my heart."

"All right." He held his hand out for her phone and put in his number.

She wandered around the apartment and picked up the rainbow flag sticking out of a vase. "Feeling festive?"

"It's there in case I forget."

She laughed. "Of course."

"It's a thing. I don't think straight people really get that it's more than just who you date or sleep with. There's a culture. It means something to me."

"So...but, like, I thought the thing was, gay people are just the same except for who they love?"

"I mean, it's  _ possible _ , but marginalized peoples tend to develop a culture of their own, and participating in those things makes you feel accepted, feel like you're part of something. Intellectually. And maybe I just like musicals and two-toned T-shirts."

"And rainbows."

"Yes."

"So, how are you? Other than...the bad stuff, I guess."

"I'm…" He rolled his shoulders. "Making it. Working at STAR Labs again. Plotting to kill Wells. Not really. That'll happen though, when he shows his true colors. I joined an LGBT group. I might get a cat."

"Who's Wells?"

"Head of STAR Labs. He fucking knew the accelerator was unstable. It's his fault Liam's dead."

"And you're still working for him?"

"I'm playing the long game. There's more pressing matters, and he can't hide forever."

"Wow. Your life is weird."

"It's Central City. There's metahumans everywhere, including a man who can run faster than sound. Quite an ass, too. Too bad he's extremely boring-looking otherwise."

"You know the Flash?"

"Yeah. He's boring."

"How?!"

"I don't know. Goody two-shoes. Generic-looking. Dresses badly."

"I mean how do you know him?"

"Again, STAR Labs."

She regarded him. "You must be lonely."

"Not really."

"You're telling me a lot."

Hartley shrugged uncomfortably. "I have people."

"But you need more people."

"I can't tell my one queer friend about my work. I shouldn't even be telling you."

"I'm nosy, though," she said. "So, you're learning ASL? Teach me."

The ice around his heart melted a little bit. "Well, the fallback is always the alphabet." He raised his hand. "So 'A' looks like this."

He went to work the next day singing Mika until Cisco gave him a fierce eyeing. "You're happy?" Cisco said. "Do you need a toxicology workup? You really should watch your drinks."

"Well, I was, and then you showed up."

The day went straight to hell after that. Hartley, who had been testing his gauntlets in a basement lab, walked into another lab just in time to see Wells stand up and shove his hand through Cisco's chest. He immediately switched the gauntlets to the highest setting and sent a burst of sound at Wells, throwing him against the wall, but Cisco was beyond help. Hartley screamed in rage and pummeled Wells with sound waves, but the frequency wasn't right--he could hear it, but he couldn't isolate it fast enough--and Wells was another speedster, because of fucking course, and Hartley felt the arms clench against his head, and then--

"Do you need a toxicology workup?" Cisco asked. "You should really watch your drinks."

"Well, I was, and then you showed up."

Caitlin glanced over. "I had no idea you had such a nice voice. You should sing more often."

"Now he won't, out of spite," Cisco said, which left Hartley in a nice Catch-22.

Barry showed up a minute later. "Who is singing?" he asked. "And how are--I'm confused."

Hartley looked up. "You? Surely not."

A wild day, but a manageable one. Then the next day, Cisco had a vision. Hartley didn't notice, as he was working late and had just gotten a call from Lena.

"Hey, um. I didn't know who to call," she said.

"Why, what's happening?"

"I'm on the bus heading past the downtown depot and I think these guys are following me."

"Following you?"

"I'm...really scared, here."

"You're sure?"

"I am a butch Black trans woman. I have survival skills you've never even heard of. They are definitely following me."

"Okay. What's the next stop?"

"I don't know. Uh… the one by STAR Labs. Can you call the police or something?"

"Get off at the next stop. I'll be there."

"Baby, I don't want you to get murdered too."

"Trust me, I won't. Stay on the line."

"Yep."

Hartley put his phone on speaker, grabbed his hoodie, and pulled on the gauntlets. He conveniently managed not to run into Cisco, Caitlin, or Ronnie on his way out. The bus pulled up to the stop a minute after he got there. Lena got off, and four badly-dressed white men followed her. "Told you," she hissed.

One of them called Lena a terrible name and Hartley put his arm around her. "Tell you what, boys. We're going to go. I don't give warnings."

"You want to touch that thing?" another said. "You must be a faggot."

"I am a faggot, and very angry," Hartley drawled. "Give me one excuse to take out my frustrations on you, just one."

"What are you going to do, bend over at me?"

Hartley smirked. "Yeah." He shot a sound wave at him, knocking the man 20 feet away. "Anyone else?"

"What the fuck? You're one of those people!"

"You stalked a random person in Central City, not even considering you might encounter a meta. Unbelievable. You really are as stupid as you look. Tell you what, you can walk away now, and I'll let you go. But if you come near her again, I will vibrate your brains out of your skulls."

"Fuck this, man," said the one man who hadn't spoken yet. "I'm not fighting one of those freaks. Let's get out of here." They dragged the fallen one to his feet and left.

"So," Lena said after they were out of sight. "You're a meta?"

He showed her the gauntlets. "It's a machine."

"You're...oh, wait. You're the Canary? Or the...Piper. The one who destroyed...oh...your father's building, of course."

He half-smiled. "So people know my alias. Exciting. But, shh."

"Are you a meta though?"

_ "That's a very rude question," _ he signed. "So," he said aloud, "need a ride home?"

"Yes, please. Ugh, I hate this. It's bullshit. I can't even take the bus in my own city without someone trying to kill me."

"I know," Hartley said. "It sucks. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Are you kidding; your life could've been in danger. Please call me anytime. I'm queer and powerful and pissed."

"Because you're a meta."

"No, because I'm a scientist with useful weapons. Stop that. Come on. I need to lock up my lab before we leave."

Lena was very impressed with the building, and Hartley kept the gauntlets when he drove her home and then himself. "Still need a cat," he said, crawling into bed alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who told you so

Hartley entered the lab to a lot of tension. Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin all looked very spooked. "What happened?"

They looked at each other. "Should we tell him?"

"He'll be smug," Cisco said.

"Let me guess, Dr. Wells did something bad."

"He's...not Dr. Wells. We think he's the Reverse-Flash."

"Color me shocked. I told you he was a murderer. It only makes sense."

"There's more," Cisco said. "I...I've been getting visions."

"Oh, welcome to the club."

"You have visions?"

"The meta club, honey. Try to keep up."

"I knew you were a meta! Anyway. I saw Wells. I found his secret, and he...he murdered me. You were there. You tried to help, but it was too late."

"I tried to help?"

"Crazy, right? That's what I saw."

"Future?"

Barry shook his head. "I shouldn't tell you this, but I travelled in time."

"We know you can do that."

"Yeah, but it's the first time  _ I've  _ done it. I think what Cisco remembers is what happened before I changed things. And I didn't just travel in time, I travelled back and replaced myself, which is not what happened that day we captured you. Or...the other Flash captured you...or whatever."

"So...so Wells, the Reverse-Flash, who killed Barry's mom, also killed Cisco, and possibly me, and that was undone."

"That's our theory."

Hartley took a very slow breath in and shouted, "NOW CAN WE KILL HIM?!"

"We don't know that--"

"YES! WE DO! There is NO doubt in my mind! I want him ruined and I want him dead! What the FUCK are you people waiting for?"

"We can't just--"

"Do you UNDERSTAND what he did to me? What he did to this whole city? Look what he did to you!"

"Dr. Wells isn't the one who kept Ronnie from me," Caitlin said quietly.

"Fine,  _ my bad _ , but he is the one who turned us all into freaks and killed my boyfriend. You can't seriously be defending him."

"I'm not," she said. "I'm saying we don't have proof. We've known him for years."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. But people disappoint. They always let you down. Always. You want to trust a man like that? Your loss." Hartley stalked over to his station and checked over his gauntlets. "I'm getting insurance. Cisco, get me a scan of Wells's frequencies."

"For what?" Cisco asked slowly.

"If he's the Reverse Flash, what makes you think any of us are safe? But I can kill him. I know how."

"Whoa, whoa, we're not killing anyone."

Hartley looked to the ceiling for patience. "Do you think for one second that he would hesitate to kill you? You said so yourself, Cisco. He murdered you in cold blood." He gripped Cisco's upper arm, and Cisco froze, staring ahead. Hartley blinked. "Cisco?"

Barry pulled Cisco away and Cisco jerked. "Oh my god," he muttered.

"What? What did you see?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I think. I saw him. I saw you. I was on the ground, I was...dead. You--He broke your neck."

Hartley swallowed and rubbed his neck.

Cisco's kicked puppy look intensified. "You were so angry."

Hartley tried a different tactic, gently touching his shoulder again. "I can stop that. I can keep us safe. All of us. He's dangerous, but I can counter his power."

"How?"

"That's my little secret."

"Drama queen."

"You know I used to do musical theater in high school...before my parents told me to stop wasting my time, so, yes."

"When did you find the time in between learning six languages?"

"I only learned three in high school. Then three in college, and one in the last few months."

"Another?"

"I'm deaf, moron," he signed at Cisco.

"Right," Cisco said. "I don't know what you said, but I get it."

"He said 'I'm deaf, stupid'," Caitlin supplied helpfully. "Hartley, we can't just kill Dr. Wells."

"But you won't mind if we have some backup. I'm not asking for permission. I'm getting that information one way or the other."

"Why do you know how to do this?" Caitlin asked.

"Because I'm brilliant."

"I won't let you kill him," Barry said.

"What are you going to do, Flash? You don't know how to beat him. I do. I can stop him. And if we're wrong, it's just insurance. But we're not wrong. Everything makes so much sense now. And can I just say--"

"No," Cisco said.

"I TOLD you so!"

"Oh, shut up. Good for you. We know it was Wells' fault the accelerator exploded. Didn't mean he was the devil."

"Yes, it does."

"Why?"

"Because--" Hartley choked. "Because if he's not, then it's my fault, for being a coward, and for...I could've done nothing, I could've…I killed Liam, I could've saved him, but I killed him. It's my fault. I have to kill him. I have to."

There was silence for a minute before Caitlin said, "It's not your fault, Hartley. He threatened you."

"It was my sonic devices that killed Liam when the dark matter wave hit us. They fucked up my implants, and he was touching it, and he just...vibrated into nothing."

"You need it to be his fault," Barry said.

"Because. It is."

"No, I agree," Cisco said. "It's on Wells. If he had listened to you, none of this would have happened."

"I think it's not that he ignored the warning," Caitlin said. "I think he planned it. We saw the news from the future. If it's true, then he came back here...so he could create the Flash. That's why he didn't listen to Hartley. That's why all of this happened."

"That...actually makes the most sense," Hartley said.

"And it lets you off the hook for feeling like crap," Cisco suggested.

"Yeah, well. If you killed your boyfriend, you'd want to be able to blame someone else too."

"No," Cisco said. "That was an accident. But if Wells did plan this, if he is the Reverse Flash, then he's fully responsible. Easy."

"So we're agreed. Get me those frequency scans."

"We're not agreed--"

"I have to keep us safe," Hartley said. "I need to."

"You want revenge."

"I can't fail the people I--I can't fail. Not again."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a few years ago. when Hartley met Liam.

Just because Hartley spent 60 hours a week at a high tech research facility didn't mean he didn't have energy on Friday nights to go out and get culture--or laid. This week was culture, or that fun little thing his parents loved to call a waste of time. The one professional theater downtown was having a musical revue put on by all the understudies from their last musical, though the songs were picked from various shows. Hartley would have preferred to see the top performers, but the setlist looked fun (three whole Kerrigan-Lowdermilk songs! and one from Little Shop of Horrors. also, something from West Side Story, and not one of the romantic songs. not that "Somewhere" didn't make Hartley cry, but he didn't need to hear it all the time.) so he dressed sharply, did his hair (work hair is not gay enough for musical viewing, of course), and threw on just a hint of eyeliner, snagging a seat in the first few rows.

The best singer was the woman who took lead on the Little Shop song--"Ya Never Know"--in terms of power and control, but Hartley's ears and eyes were drawn by the guy singing "Cool". His intensity was compelling. He sang "Run Away with Me" solo a couple numbers later, and the difference was incredible, from intense and harsh to tender and unsure. Okay, so every musical theater dude had to try it once, but this guy's shot was worth it. Plus, he could dance. The final number was a nice ensemble piece--"La Vie Boheme", and the hot guy played Roger, and Hartley felt...sad?

Oh god.

Lonely.

He was actually falling for someone he didn't know. How pathetic.

The show ended beautifully. Hartley didn't really feel like going home, and it was nice outside, so he ended up mingling with the crowd outside the theater until people started to clear out, and the cast finally began filtering out.

"Oh, honey, you were amazing," a man's voice said behind Hartley. "I think we killed it. Next stop, not being understudies. You totally earned that. I need a drink. Or maybe sleep. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"See you," a woman said.

Hartley turned around casually, just in time for the hot guy to run into him.

"Oh shit, sorry," he said. "I wasn't even looking, I'm such a ditz. Oh." He raked his eyes over Hartley's entire body. "But not. Not a ditz. I'm cool. Extremely cool."

"It's all right," Hartley said, smiling like an idiot. "It's the most action I've gotten all month."

Hot Guy laughed. "Glad to be of service. I should charge for that."

"Hey, um," Hartley said, before he talked himself out of it, "you uh, your voice. It's really, um, versatile, and good, I mean, really nice, and dancing, good, I mean, um, you're very talented, and I liked. That." Then he waited for the earth to swallow him.

"Aw! Thanks! You're so sweet." Hot Guy took a step away, and then he turned back. "Wait. That was flirting. Was it?"

"No, because I'm not that much of a loser," Hartley said. "One second." He took a deep breath, arranged his face in a suggestive smirk, and said, "What are you doing tonight? It's not every day the hottest man in the world runs into me."

"Ooh." Hot Guy stepped back into Hartley's space. "I'm listening. You should take me to dinner."

Hartley frowned in amusement. "I should?"

"Sweetie, I'm a starving artist. You look like you work as a university professor?"

"Research scientist."

"Oh, hell yeah. That's cooler. And probably pays more."

"Two minutes and he's already after my money."

"Fine, give me your number and let's go walk in the park or something. Has anyone ever told you you're fucking gorgeous?"

"Please do."

"You're fucking gorgeous. I'm Liam Doyle. Remember that name."

"I could hardly forget it. Hartley Rathaway."

"Oh, like Rathaway Industries?"

Hartley winced. "Formerly."

"Formerly? Oh...because gay?"

"Because gay."

"That sucks. No, I phrased that wrong. Because homophobia. Never because gay." Liam shook his head. "Woo! I'm on a post-show high. It's why I'm talking so much. Or maybe that's just me."

Hartley felt very warm. "Do you like Thai food?"

"I like anything! But I love Thai food. I should warn you though, I don't put out until the second date, and only if I really, really want to."

Hartley shrugged. "Not a problem. Really."

Liam ran a hand through his hair. "Good. I know all this is irresistible, but you'll have to resist anyway. Do you have a car? 'Cause...I don't."

"Yes."

"I'm just being upfront. I'm pretty damn broke. So you know what you're getting into."

"I understand," Hartley said, amused. "My car is this way."

"Awesome. Please don't be an axe murderer."

"I'll see what I can do."

"And he showed up wearing a T-shirt. A T-shirt!" Hartley dried dishes with an unnecessary fierceness. "Who walks into a billion dollar research facility wearing a graphic T-shirt?"

"Well, that guy, apparently," Liam said, munching on an egg roll.

"I quizzed him. He does know his stuff. But I gave him a week. Two, maybe. I don't know why Wells hired someone without any sense of professionalism. Besides, he's not as good as me. What do we need another engineer for?"

Liam licked his fingers. "Hey, daddy issues? Your jealousy doesn't pay rent."

Hartley stopped drying the bowl in his hands. "What?"

"I'm just saying, honey," Liam said. "It seems like you're being mean to some guy you don't even know because you don't want him to replace you in Wells's heart or something. Like, you don't know. Maybe he had to claw his way up like you. Maybe he just expresses that differently."

"I--but--" Hartley scoffed and put down the bowl. "In my own house."

"Don't play that with me, lover, I half live here. I'm not betraying you by pointing out you might be wrong. Don't do that."

Hartley was completely thrown. He just stared down, hurt, until Liam stood up.

"Aw, baby, come here." Liam took Hartley in his arms and kissed his forehead. "You've been hurt, like so many of us queers have been hurt, and it sucks a lot, and it's not fair, and it's totally bullshit. I know. The people who were supposed to be on your team come hell or high water bailed when they met the real you. And they are definitely wrong. And I understand that you need someone there, and that Wells is that someone, and that's okay. But I think maybe you should consider not taking out your pain on people over dumb shit like wearing a T-shirt to work. If he's incompetent or something, then by all means. But you have a tendency to be mean for...not fair reasons, and then find a way to justify it, and if I didn't love you I wouldn't even bother telling you. I think you would be happier if you left that kind of stuff behind. And I love to see you happy."

Hartley tucked his head between Liam's shoulder and neck and didn't say anything.

"I am on your team," Liam said. "I haven't been silently resenting you, I swear; I just don't think a good boyfriend is there to enable you if you're making...questionable decisions." He patted Hartley's back. "Whew. Okay. Got that out of the way."

Hartley said in a very small voice, "Am I mean to you?"

"No, honey, not to me. Just other people. Mostly people you feel threatened by." Liam pulled back and cupped Hartley's cheek. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Hartley said. "I'm with you."

"I know, honey, but you're still so angry. And scared. And defensive. And I understand why, but maybe that's something to work on. Because you don't wanna grow old bitter, lover. There's so much softness and vulnerability and beauty in here. Let it breathe. Let other people in."

Hartley stepped back and gripped Liam's arms. "You know you are the most important thing to me."

Liam inhaled through his teeth. "Thing."

"Yes, because of course you are the most important person, but you are more important than all the other stuff in my life too."

"Okay. That's fair. I love you too." Liam kissed Hartley and sat back on the stool. "Wasn't there another egg roll?"

"You've had three."

"I'm very tall though."

Hartley shook his head and slid the plate with the last egg roll to Liam. "Are you staying over?"

"I hope so. I just made things awkward though."

"No, I want you to stay."

"Oh, good. Buuuuut, I have an audition tomorrow, so I can't be up too late, and I can't go down on you. Just in case. Or do anything that might compromise my dancing."

Hartley snorted. "If you want me to bottom, you only had to ask."

Liam grinned. "I've been thinking about it a little."

"Now you've got me thinking about it a lot."

"Mm. I'll put in the seduction work after I digest this."

Hartley nodded. "Hey, uh. I'll think about it. What you said."

Liam, his mouth full of egg roll, smiled.

"How come I've never met your work friends?" Liam asked, spooning Hartley in bed.

"Because they're not my friends."

"That's so sad."

"Maybe in acting everyone is best friends, but it doesn't work like that in my field."

"Maybe you're just abrasive."

"I'm--okay, yes, well…."

"Good for exfoliating."

"Dork."

"Yes. So. What time is that thing of yours tomorrow? Because I'm coming."

"Oh, you are? Okay. I'll get you the program in the morning."

"It's pretty cool, right? Particle accelerator...science...stuff. Unless we all die, of course."

"Ha, ha. No one's dying. We check everything a million times."

"Mmm, but, the prospect of potential doom is an opportunity."

"For what?"

"For me to sing to you."

"Oh. Well in that case, it could explode and kill everyone."

"I thought so," Liam said. " _ Love me, as though there were no tomorrow. Take me out of this world tonight. _ "

The guards escorted Hartley through the building. "I just need to get my briefcase," he said, ducking into his lab and throwing his prototype sonic devices in his case before they dragged him back out. He was shaking with rage. And Liam was  _ there _ . The moment the guards left him outside of STAR Labs, he whipped out his phone and called him. "Pick up, pick up, please pick up."

"Hey! It's really loud in here!" Liam shouted through the phone. "What's up?"

"You need to get out of there!"

"What? Why?"

"I'll explain, just leave the building okay? Meet me at the bus stop."

"What's going on?"

"Now! Please!"

"Okay, honey, I'm coming."

It was a tense ten minutes before Liam got through the crowds to the bus stop. "Hey, what's going on? Why aren't you in there?"

"There's um. He's gone crazy."

"Who has?"

"Wells. He kicked me out, threatened me. That thing...there's some calculations that aren't right. It could be fine, but it could...not be. But if I say anything, my career is over, he said...why is he doing this?"

Liam brushed a tear from Hartley's cheek. "What do we do? Tell someone?"

"We can't. It would cause a panic, and I can't even contact Ronnie or Cisco now. And I...I could be wrong."

"But are you?"

"I just don't know. Let's get out of here."

"You mean, abandon it?"

"I don't know what else to do."

"I don't like that."

"I know. But even if it did explode--and it probably won't--it's dark matter, so I don't think it would kill anyone, but we know so little."

"Well," Liam said, "the coward in me says let's run, but I have people in this town."

"Five minutes," Hartley said. "Where could we even go?"

Liam put an arm around him and pointed to the grassy field across the parking lot. "Best case scenario, stargazing. Worst case, we die together."

Hartley nodded helplessly. "I love you."

"I know," Liam said, and they walked to the field together. But as they sat down to wait it out, there was a noise nearby. "Shit, what was that?"

"Probably just a coyote or something," Hartley said.

"Those are scary!" Liam said. "What the hell do you mean,  _ just _ a coyote?"

Hartley opened his briefcase and pulled out his prototype gauntlets. "I'll defend you," he said, slipping one on. "Thirty seconds."

And it started. And everything was fine. And then it wasn't. The gauntlet Hartley wore sparked and suddenly there was a horrible piercing shriek, and Hartley gritted his teeth in pain, and Liam grabbed his hand, his palm against the palm of the gauntlet, and the wave hit them, and his entire world was agony, agony, screaming in his ears, but Liam was vibrating, his mouth shaping "help me," and then his particles separated and he was gone, and Hartley couldn't do anything but scream until he passed out. He woke alone, threw up, tried to stand, screamed Liam's name, but he could only hear the shrieking, no,  _ everything _ , but mostly shrieking, loud, louder than any human should ever have to tolerate. He crawled, dragged himself to the parking lot, because Liam was gone, completely gone, and Hartley wanted to die to stop the pain, the pain of the screaming, the pain of losing everything that mattered,  _ everything _ , and he couldn't...he couldn't….

Someone bundled him into an ambulance. At some point he saw that his hands were covered in blood from where he'd shoved his hands to his ears to block out the sound. But the hospitals were packed, and after five hours Hartley walked out, because they couldn't help him. He had somehow held onto his briefcase and his head hurt so much he wanted to die again. Somehow he made it to his apartment and the frequencies, the frequencies were everywhere, he could hear  _ all of them _ , everything a human shouldn't be able to hear, all at once. "FUCK!" he screamed into a pillow, but the pain didn't care about that, so he started tinkering with a pair of earbuds from the junk drawer. It took nearly twenty-five hours of meticulous work, but he jury-rigged them with the proper frequency and power to mitigate the cacophony, and then he took as much codeine as was safe and passed out in bed. When he woke, he started making something lasting for his ears.

By the end of the week, he'd made a pair of hearing aids that had to be implanted with a coil but blocked out the piercing shrill entirely. He made two extra pairs, ate something from the fridge, and went to bed.

He didn't leave the apartment for days. His stomach hurt constantly, and he cried himself to dehydration at least five times a day.

The day he stopped crying was the day he decided to get revenge.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who wants some John Constantine? Also I wrote this before Legends came out, so if he seems off, well...

They didn't listen to Hartley, and Eddie killed himself to stop Eobard Thawne. A singularity opened, and Ronnie died to save the world. Hartley felt bad for Caitlin, and guilty for denying them the time they could've had together.

When was the world going to stop being cruel?

"Nice apartment," Lena said, standing in the doorway. "Sure would be a shame if someone were to...crash on your couch."

Hartley stood aside to let her in. "What happened?"

"Oh, nothing, just, my family kicked me out because they found out I date girls. Wild, right? The trans thing they were okay with, but they had a thing where if I was really a girl I should be dating boys. Fucking hell."

"Jesus, Lena, are you okay?"

"Not really," she said. "Could definitely use a hug."

He wrapped his arms around her. "What are you going to do?"

"Um. Well. My job is great but I can't afford my own place  _ and  _ hormones because nonprofit work pays like shit and you know I never managed to get my degree."

"You don't want to live with me," Hartley said. "I'm mean, I listen to music no one else likes, I bitch about everything, I work on evil science experiments, and I hate when people do the dishes wrong."

"Easy, I won't do the dishes. And I'll kill spiders for you."

"I can kill spiders."

"Ooh, I bet. I saw your ex. What a fem. So cute!"

"He's not my ex," Hartley said. "He died. It's not the same."

"I know, babe." She sat on the counter. "You're the only one I feel comfortable asking and I really need somewhere to stay. I can help pay rent. I'd promise not to get underfoot but it's me. I will, however, be able to make arrangements if you have sleepovers."

"Uh," Hartley said heavily, "yeah, okay, you can stay for a couple weeks and then we'll see if we can tolerate each other."

"You're the best!" she said cheerfully. "I'll go get my stuff."

Jerrie came to visit him, bringing a letter. "I wouldn't give them your address," she said, "but they wanted you to read this."

Hartley took it. "Does it say 'We're extremely sorry, we take everything back, please forgive us'?"

"I don't know, honestly. You want me to vet it?"

Hartley slid a finger under the flap and tore open the envelope. "I'm fine." He read through it, frowning.

"Well?" Jerrie asked.

Hartley shrugged. "There's nothing of substance in here at all. They just want to meet me and talk. They wish it hadn't gone 'that way' and think maybe they made 'too hasty' a decision."

"Are you going to meet them?"

"I'm going to dye my hair rainbow colors and bring an entourage of go-go boys."

"Haha. But seriously."

"I don't know. I don't understand why now."

"I think they're warming up to the gay thing, I really do."

"The 'gay thing' is my existence."

"You know what I mean."

"I mean, I say that, but I hate when straight people say it." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I need a boyfriend. And I have projects to finish."

He went to dinner anyway, a few minutes after killing the time wraith. Which, by the way, was extremely badass. Had anyone ever killed a time wraith before? Everyone should be very impressed, but they were acting like it was a normal day.

Dinner with the folks was not as good as he had hoped.

"We understand you didn't choose this now."

"But do you understand that that doesn't matter?" Hartley asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I had a boyfriend. He was beautiful and wonderful, and he died in the explosion, but I loved him. I didn't choose to be gay, but if I could, if it meant that I could love him the way I did, the way I still do, I would. I would choose it every time. It's not enough to say that it's okay because I didn't choose it. That's like saying I'm defective but it's okay because it's not my fault. I'm not defective. I'm fine. If you can't handle that, then I'm just going to leave."

"You're our son," Osgood Rathaway said.

"I'm your gay son," Hartley said. "I'm not divisible into parts. Let's be clear."

They ate in silence for a minute. Then Rachel said, carefully, "Would you tell us about him?"

Hartley looked up in surprise. "Oh. Yes. His name was Liam. He was an actor. I have a picture of us." He pulled out his wallet and showed his parents the photograph.

"You look happy," Rachel said.

"I was. He made me very happy."

"Well," she said, like the world had just turned upside-down and she was desperately trying to find her footing, "that's good, then. I don't...really understand it, but maybe I can try."

"That…" Hartley stared at his plate. "That would mean a lot to me."

Osgood tapped the table nervously. "At least you don't overdo it."

"Overdo what?"

"You know. Some homosexuals will dress that way, trying to be obtuse, or wear makeup--"

"Dad!" Jerrie snapped.

But Hartley already had his phone out, and he brought up a picture and slid it across the table. It was a shot that Lena's last girlfriend had taken. Hartley's hair belonged only in a gay club, and he wore rainbow makeup and heavy eyeliner. On one side, Lena was kissing his cheek; on the other side, a drag queen was licking his ear. The tightest V-neck Hartley owned was front and center, with a stylized sketch of Sylvia Rivera and  _ Queer Power _ in rainbow letters. "I'm not 'just like you' except for who I love," he said. "We have a culture. We were forced to make one. And I am part of it. Take me or leave me."

"I think you hit them too hard," Jerrie said. "But Dad, we  _ talked about this _ ."

"I'm just going to go," Hartley said. "I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to live." He walked out. He didn't look back.

Lena petted the shelter kitten she had in her lap. "I swear to god, Hart, if you don't go get your ass laid in the next week, I'm kicking you out."

"This is my apartment," he said. "And that's...really weird."

"You are SO sexually frustrated! I can feel it coming in waves off you! Look, it's a beautiful night. Put on some tight pants, go to the club, wink at a pretty boy, work some magic. It's so damn easy for gay men!"

"It's not."

"To get laid? It absolutely is. Especially if you're a total switch."

Hartley crossed his arms. "You should not care--or know--this much about my sexual preferences."

"You're right. Go shower. Right now."

"Also, 'switch' refers to BDSM roles, which I have never participated in. Vers. You mean vers."

"What the fuck ever, Captain Vanilla. You know what I meant. Go get some."

Hartley rolled his eyes, but she was right. He hadn't even had sex with anyone since Liam, and he was starting to get antsy about it again. Not that he typically did casual sex, but maybe every once in awhile it was what the doctor ordered. Or he'd find someone actually worth the time.

Armed with eyeliner and just enough hair product, Hartley left the apartment.

He was about to go into the club when he noticed a blond man in a trenchcoat stomping out a cigarette, pondering the clubs. He considered the gay club and then looked across the street at the straight bar.

"Hey, bisexual," Hartley said.

The man turned around to see him. "Hey, gay."

"Assumptions, tsk. You're right though. What's the hold up?"

"You're telling me about assumptions," the man said, amused. "What makes you think I'm bisexual?" His accent was British--Welsh, maybe?

"Ah, the age old question of whether to go to the gay bar or straight bar tonight." Hartley took a step toward the Brit. "Can I make it easy for you? Skip the cover charge, let me buy you coffee."

"Hmm," the man said. "Lazy, but I like your initiative. And your face."

Hartley held out a hand. "Hartley Rathaway."

The Brit took it. "John Constantine. Lead the way."

"So, John," Hartley said, sipping at his pumpkin chai, "what do you do?"

"I'm an exorcist," John said. "You?"

"I'm a supervillain," Hartley countered. "Exorcised anyone good lately?"

"Myself, actually! Babylonian demon king, mass murder, messy story, very dull. Have you committed any acts of supervillainy lately?"

"Not lately, no. I shattered a bunch of glass at my parents' building downtown and helped take down the Reverse-Flash, but eh, that sounds almost heroic."

"Depends on your parents."

"Oh, they disowned me because they're bigots, basically."

"Hmm, then a little too heroic. You sound like a terrible supervillain."

"Well, I was planning on killing the Flash, but I didn't end up getting that far. Time travel shenanigans."

"Why, what's the problem with the Flash?"

"Nothing; I just wanted his mentor to suffer for his sins. It was purely a revenge mission."

"Ah, sympathetic. Sounds more roguish."

"All right, who's lying?" Hartley teased.

"Not me, mate," John said, grinning. "I've never lied in my life."

"Maybe you should start," Hartley said.

"Now why would I do that when I'm so charming in reality?"

"Don't start singing the Smiths. I don't--" Hartley paused, listening. "What in the hell--"

The glass doors of CC Jitters flew open, and a tall, solid man swept in wearing the ugliest hat ever. "I want the Flash!" he said dramatically. His hands sparked with electricity.

"You came to a coffee shop," Hartley said, sneaking his gauntlets out of his pockets. "What exactly is your plan?"

The man strode in his direction, but John popped up and stepped between them. "Hold on, mate, let's talk about this," he said.

The villain smacked him in the face, knocking him straight out. Hartley caught him, laid him down, and immediately shot sound waves at the villain.

"Ow, damn it," Barry complained, having been caught between them and thrown against the bar.

"Flash, what the hell? I had this!"

"I was just trying to--"

"Go get him!"

Barry took off, and Hartley patted John's cheek gently until he woke up. "Bloody hell, what was that?" John slurred.

"Supervillain, or something. They're agonizingly common around here. It's why I got bored with being one. Are you all right?"

"I'll survive," John said. "I always do. That smarts, though."

Hartley sighed. "Let's get you checked out. I'll drive you to the lab. You're probably concussed."

John sat up. "Oh, probably not--oh fuck." He swayed.

"Yeah." Hartley hoisted John to his feet and dragged him to his car.

Caitlin looked John over. "No concussion, somehow."

"You know, it figures. I avoid Star City because the Green Arrow will find a way to make me fight his battles, so I come to Central City, and I get beat up by a...something."

"Metahuman," Caitlin said. "You know the Green Arrow?"

"Yeah, yeah, we go way back. You know the Flash, apparently. Or pretty boy here does. Or tried to kill him, was it?"

"Ha, he's delirious!" Hartley said.

Barry zapped into the lab right then. "He shoots electricity from his hands."

"Did you get him?" Hartley asked.

"No, he disappeared."

"Weird. He was after you. Or so he said."

"What else is new?" Barry said.

"Well, this has all been fun," John said, "but I thought we had plans, mate?"

Hartley laughed. "Just, what, ignore the meta crisis and finish our date?"

"Or skip the rest of it and go straight to, you know. I'm flexible, really." He winked.

"Tempting," Hartley admitted. "But I prefer to get to know the men I sleep with or at least attempt to for a couple hours."

"No, I do too, it just seems like we might get interrupted in a city full of people like that," John said. "All right." He stood up. "Back to the coffee shop then, or heart to heart at your place?"

"My roommate's there with our kitten, but she might be sleeping."

"Ooh, kitten."

Cisco poked his head in. "What'd I miss?" Then he laughed. "Wow, Hartley, you look so professional."

"Laugh it up, fuzzball," Hartley said. "I wasn't expecting to come in, and besides, you're just bothered that you can't stop staring at this ass."

"Keep dreaming, Piper."

"Now I feel I'm getting in between something," John said. "Not that I would mind being in between."

"No way!" Cisco said. "That is not flirting. That is normal bro banter."

"Oh, Cisco," Hartley said, "this is definitely flirting. Not my fault your straight ass can't keep up. Well! I have plans for tonight, so if you all would just manage this new meta, that would be great."

"Or we could--"

"Plans!"

John shrugged and followed him out. "So what  _ is _ the plan, mate?"

Hartley shrugged. "Back to Jitters? It's only 8:30. I don't know."

John pointed. "Nice field for stargazing, if you want to get sappy."

Hartley's stomach clenched. "I uh. No."

"No?"

"Just. That's where I was when...my ears, and my...that's where I lost him."

"Ah, sorry, love. Someone important?"

"The most important. Uh, so, coffee?"

"Sure, love."

But before they got back to CC Jitters, Hartley heard something at a stoplight.

"What is it?" John asked.

"Shh. I hear...fuck, it's him again." Hartley threw the car into park and pulled his gauntlets back on. "In case Flash doesn't get here fast enough."

"What...do those do, exactly?"

"Sonic waves. It's not pleasant. Trust me."

"You were serious."

"Weren't you?"

"Heh. How do you know he's here?"

"I can hear him."

"I don't hear anything."

"Shh." A car honked behind them, and Hartley got out of the car. "You drive." He listened carefully for the odd humming of the electricity, right...there. He spun around, palms pointed toward the meta. "Don't take a step closer."

"I want the Flash," the meta said.

"So you've said. Yet you keep coming for me. What do you really want?"

"You work with him," the meta said, stepping forward, "and you're easy to find."

"What did I just say?" Hartley sighed, shooting sonic waves at the meta and throwing him twenty feet away. He stalked over as the man struggled to stand. "You really think this is going to go your way?"

The meta grinned. "You're nothing. That's a machine." Electricity flowed from his fingers and zapped the gauntlets. They short-circuited and went dead. "Now who's scared, Flash's minion?"

"Pied Piper. I'm the Pied Piper," Hartley complained as the meta jumped up and grabbed him by the throat. The hand was tightening, and he couldn't breathe, and then someone was chanting, and the meta shouted in pain and dropped Hartley. Arms surrounded him as he gasped, black spots in his vision.

"You all right?" John asked.

Hartley leaned into him, waiting for his vision to clear. "Now I'm pissed."

Back at STAR Labs, Hartley repaired the damaged fuses on his gauntlets. "Could be worse," he said. "He barely overloaded it."

"You have finger bruises on your neck," Cisco said.

"Who says that was from our new meta friend?" Hartley said. Cisco made a strangled sound and Hartley relented. "Yeah, it was from that guy. Are you giving him a name or should I?"

"I'm working on it! Powerline or something. So how did you get away?"

"That was me," John said. "Used a bit of magic on him. Doesn't work very well in this town though. I wonder why."

"All the dark matter floating around," Cisco said.

"Do you think?"

"I have no idea. Magic isn't real." His tone was unnecessarily accusatory, in Hartley's opinion, but he related to the sentiment.

"Ah, you say that, but what is magic? You've got a man who can run faster than sound. Say that's not magic."

"Yeah, yeah, and a psychic, and a guy who can hear supersonic frequencies, and a girl who can teleport, but that was because of the particle accelerator explosion. It's science."

"Where's the line?"

Cisco didn't have an answer to that. John smirked. "I've got a psychic friend too. She was born that way, she says. So, is the Flash going to defeat this Powerline lad, or have we got to do it?"

Hartley said, "Shh," and turned a dial, listening carefully.

"What are we listening for?" John asked.

"We aren't, he is," Caitlin said. "Shh."

"Got it," Hartley said. "I don't even need scans anymore."

"Whoa, whoa," Cisco interjected. "You're not going to just kill him, are you?"

"I can freeze him without killing him, ye of little faith."

"Well, you  _ did _ try to kill Thawne that way."

"I still can't believe you think that's a bad thing. Eddie actually killed him and everyone's 'oh, Eddie's a hero!' like, do you want another recap of why Thawne was evil?"

"Whatever," Cisco said. "You're just bitter you didn't kill him yourself. And that he left everything to Barry."

"He owed me that much," Hartley said, but there was no heat behind it. "There, all ready to go. Where is Flash? The meta's here for him. Let him beat it."

"I called him but he was trying to go on a date."

"So am I!"

John came up behind him and slipped an arm around his waist, whispering, "I'm really not fussed about the courting bit," hot breath tickling Hartley's ear.

Hartley shivered and leaned his head back onto John's shoulder. "But," he murmured, "I can't lead that meta back to my place. My roommate and kitten are there."

"Hotel room?"

"At least share a plate of something unhealthy with me at a diner first."

"Well, if you insist." He pressed a kiss to Hartley's skin just under his ear.

Hartley closed his eyes and wanted to give in, but Cisco and Caitlin were there, so he stepped away from John and packed up his gauntlets. "Do you have a sense of propriety?" he asked.

"You mean, can I not seduce you in front of your friends?"

"It would be ideal." Hartley could hear John's heart racing, and he gestured to the door. "Shall we get the hell out of here?"

"Oh, yes please," John said. "I'm getting bloody bored."

"Be cool, Yolanda," Hartley teased as they left STAR Labs. "Your pulse is well above a reasonable rate."

"For a deaf bloke, you hear a little too well."

"Who says I'm deaf?"

"Your hearing aids, maybe."

Hartley shrugged. "I'm full of contradictions." He slid into the driver's seat. "So, late dinner?"

"Yeah," John agreed. "One moment." He reached across the center console and touched Hartley's cheek. "Anyone ever tell you that you look like walking sex?"

"Go on."

John kissed him. His face was scratchy but he kissed with a tenderness Hartley desperately needed. He whimpered in his throat and met John's affection with fierceness, only stopping when John tugged at his shirt. "God, I want to," he whispered. "But I'm not fucking in the back seat of my car, and besides, there are cameras." He pushed John away and started the car.

"Where's your sense of spontaneity?" John said, sitting back.

Hartley backed the car out of the spot. "I haven't had sex in a car since high school, and since I'm not hiding from my parents, I don't have to, and I don't want to."

"All right, mate, all right. You're in charge."

"Sure you want that? I'm a tyrant."

"At this point, love, I will do anything any way you want if I can have you tonight."

"Impatient much? I've been in a dry spell since...well. My last boyfriend, uh. Which has been. Over a year."

"...why?"

"I had a really bad time for a while. I was suffering from a debilitating condition--actually, I still am, it's just managed now--and I'd lost the man I loved. He died in front of me. And I was betrayed by someone I trusted and loved and put too much faith in and I wanted revenge. I didn't have the time or the emotional energy for love."

"But sex?"

"I don't know. When I met Liam I just sort of gave up on casual sex. Tonight notwithstanding."

"I don't plan to make it casual."

"Why, are you going to stay?"

"...Okay, no, I can't, because I've got...things."

"Then it's casual, John."

"What happened to him?"

Hartley stared ahead, but John was easy, and John wasn't staying around. "The explosion. I had my gauntlets with me, we were in that field, and one of them fucked up and wrecked my ears, and Liam tried to grab my hand, but it just vibrated him into nothing. He...vaporized."

"That's why you hear things humans can't hear. Because you're not anymore."

"Yeah."

"The hearing aids are to keep sound out, aren't they."

"Well, kind of. It quiets and organizes the cacophony into something I can understand. If I don't have the hearing aids I'm in pain you can't imagine."

"I can imagine quite a lot. So, you loved him."

"So much," Hartley said. "But you and I are going in here." He pulled into the parking lot next to a small diner. "And ordering something with too much cheese, probably."

"You are very set on doing it proper," John said, amused. "I could eat, though." He followed Hartley into the diner, and they ordered a plate of bacon cheese fries. "I can't believe you don't just go and own gay clubs," he said as Hartley's fingers caressed his cup of water. "You could have  _ anyone _ ."

Hartley laughed. "I'm just putting on a facade for you. I'm a huge nerd, really."

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter! You move so deliberately, like you're trying to draw someone into your web--or everyone into your web, you could have boys at your feet. But there you are, pining for the one you lost, I guess."

"I--" Hartley looked down. "I'm not, at least, I don't think I am, but sometimes I just wish he were in my arms again. But I can move forward and still love him."

John considered this. "Do you think so?"

"Why not?"

"Hmm."

"You know, it's funny," Hartley said, running his fingertips along the tabletop. "I don't even know you, not really. But you, you have already created a fantasy version of me where I'm some kind of dark tempter." His eyes flicked up to John's face. "Is this how you normally seduce people?"

"Whatever works, really," John said.

The waiter dropped a plate of fries on the table and walked away without saying anything. Hartley picked one and contemplated it. "Did you really get possessed by a demon?"

"Yeah, but you don't want to know about that. Much nicer to live in a world where you don't believe in that kind of thing, trust me."

Hartley nodded, licking his fingers deliberately. "I can see how--shit." The lights flickered. "Oh, that is  _ it _ . I am ruining this fucker's day."

"Hell, Powerline's back?"

Hartley opened his pack and donned his gauntlets. "Powerline is going to pay for fucking up my evening." He stood up, but the meta was sweeping through the door.

"Get me the Flash," the meta growled.

"You know what?" Hartley said, a dangerous look on his face. "I don't need Flash. I was trying to have a nice date with a hot Welsh guy--"

"English," John cut in.

"Eng--wait, really?" He'd misplaced the accent then. To be fair, he hadn't watched  _ Torchwood _ in years.

"Liverpool."

Right. Beatles accent. "Huh. Okay." Hartley resumed. "A nice date with a hot English guy, and you have interrupted me  _ three _ times, and I am done playing." He shot sound waves at the meta but Powerline dodged and threw sparks at Hartley. Two of them shocked his thigh. "Don't you even," Hartley growled, activating the right frequency. The meta froze, unable to move a muscle. "Ruin my date night? Time to pay the Piper."

"Oh my god!" the waiter yelled from the counter. "What is happening?"

"Just tuning in, mate?" John said. "Thought this was standard practice in Central City."

"It is," Hartley said, dialing Cisco. "I got him. Come get him. Please."

"If you've got him--"

"Pleeeeease. This has been the single most pointless battle ever and Lena is about to kill me for being bitchy and please, please, now."

"Ugh, fine."

"Thank you."

Cisco, Caitlin, and Barry collected Powerline--or whatever his name was--leaving Hartley and John alone. "Okay, I give up," Hartley said. "This is entirely too much work; let's just go." He dropped a twenty on the table and dialed Lena, walking out to the car. "Hey. Sorry it's late. Go somewhere else."

"You reeled one in?"

"Can you be out in ten minutes?"

"Yup. Should I take Kiki?"

"Either way. Wait, I thought you were calling her Mononoke?"

"She's really more of a Kiki."

"Of course she is." Hartley hung up the phone and drove them to his apartment. "I hope she moves as fast as she claims to," he said to John as they trekked up the stairs to the second floor.

"I'm thinking about a shower," Hartley said later, his head resting on John's sweaty chest.

"Mm," John said, his chest rumbling. "I'm thinking if you give me an hour I'll flip you over and make you a happy man. If you like switching."

"Yeah," Hartley yawned. "Yeah...sounds nice."

"Sleeping already?" John chided. "Out of practice?"

"Told you," Hartley said.

"I could tie you up and blow your mind."

"No thanks."

"...really?"

"Not my thing."

"Oh, you're vanilla."

"Yeah," Hartley said.

"That's hilarious."

"Okay."

"You've never even wanted to--"

"No."

"Makes things more intense, it really does."

"Well, that's not what I'm looking for."

"Get a boyfriend."

"I guess. I don't know if it's worth it."

"What does that mean?"

"It just seems to me that we don't get happy endings."

"I know my sin," John said. "But I'm not really sure what you mean."

"I can't think of a single instance in popular media where the queer characters get to live happily ever after. Someone always dies, or is outed, or they break up, or something."

"I've got a German play you'd like, but so what? That's not real."

"It was fucking real when Liam died in front of me."

"And because it's real, you have to move on. Life doesn't wait for your 'one and only' to magically come back to you. That's lovely but it's not real."

"I know, but what if that's all there is? I find someone, he dies, or leaves me, or I leave him, or...I don't know. Something. It doesn't work."

"Maybe don't hang your hopes on it then."

"I want companionship. I don't see how that's too much to ask."

"Mm, well, I am an expert at self-sabotage, but it does get boring after a bit."

"I know. I…" Hartley shrugged. "God forbid I have feelings."

"Didn't say that, love."

Hartley tapped his fingers restlessly against John's skin. Then he sat up. "You want a drink?"

"Always."

John cooked breakfast in the morning, eggs and toast, and poked at Lena's espresso machine for five minutes before giving up and letting Hartley make lattes. Lena came in as the eggs were frying and wheedled her way into a pair of sunny side up for herself. Kiki settled next to a hot mug of coffee and went to sleep.

"So," Lena said, "when's the wedding?"

"Pfft," John said. "It's nice and polite to make breakfast the morning after sex. It's only good manners."

"And for your one night stand's roommate?"

"If she's pushy enough, apparently."

"Well," she said, poking Hartley, who smacked her hand away, "someone looks happy."

"Someone looks nosy," he countered. He frowned, remembering an unresolved conversation. "John, I saw that German play. And the musical. I am a cultured gay, you know."

"So, there you go. Happy ending."

"Happy moment in time maybe. You think they didn't get dragged apart in 1891?"

"Are you looking for depressing things to whinge about?"

"It's all the same. Besides, half the directors play it for laughs. It's not funny, it's fucking tender. Don't you feel isolated when you see everyone laughing?"

"I read the play," John said. "Never saw the musical."

"What are y'all talking about?" Lena demanded.

" _ Spring Awakening _ ," Hartley said. "I don't think one single heavily censored play means anything, but whatever."

"Well then," John said, "mope forever. That's a plan."

Lena snorted, and Hartley sank down behind forkfuls of egg so he didn't have to find a witty retort to that.

John Constantine walked through the grassy field near STAR Labs. He should be on his way out of town by now, since Zed's vision had completely failed to pan out and he'd finished the date and breakfast, but he was curious. There was a spell to call up the restless dead. With all the ambient dark matter and metahumans in Central City, it might do something, or it might do nothing. It  _ probably _ wouldn't hurt to try.

He said the incantation and willed it to call any soul in limbo. The wind picked up, but nothing else happened. John waited a few more minutes, and then he headed to the train station. It was a long ride to Atlanta.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't write queer tragedy porn

"Hey," Cisco said, interrupting Hartley's extremely delicate attempt to thread a coil.

"What?"

"Have you been flirting with me for the past...um, ever?"

"Yeah. You're fun to bait, I like to stay in practice, and if you squint, you're cute. Like a baby otter."

"Uh, well. Okay. I didn't think...I didn't know that."

"Are you making this an issue?"

"I mean. I'm not...sorry, are you interested in me?"

"Oh, don't worry, Cisquito," Hartley said. "I don't fall for straight men. That's a waste of time."

"Except Wells…"

Hartley dropped the tweezers and took a deep breath to steady himself. "I am going to assume that you just said the meanest thing you have ever said to me just to make sure that poor little gay me doesn't fall for perky little hetero you and therefore to spare me further heartache, but fuck you anyway."

"Wait, are you serious?"

"I am going to hit you."

"I thought--I was just teasing, I never thought--"

"Well, congratulations, some of us had inappropriate crushes we didn't want and didn't know how to get rid of, like you with that thing you had for Lisa. Also, what the fuck makes you think Thawne was straight?"

Cisco's mouth dropped open. "Are you saying that you and he--"

"No, JESUS, NO." Hartley shuddered. "I just meant you jumped to assume, and the fact is you've literally never seen him with a romantic partner of any gender. I, personally, still wish I'd killed him myself. And I'm still considering punching you. You know what? I don't have to listen to this." Hartley left his tools sitting out and stalked out of the lab. He wasn't going to tell Cisco or  _ anyone _ the truth. No one needed to know. It had been once, before he met Liam. And it had been on purpose to fuck with his head. Eobard Thawne was evil and now he was dead.

"Hartley, wait, I didn't mean to--"

"Go fuck yourself," Hartley yelled behind him.

"I have a problem," Cisco said, shutting the door and sitting at Caitlin's desk.

"What's wrong?" she asked, setting aside a sample and covering the dish.

"Hartley's mad at me. Again."

"Why?"

"I was trying to talk to him, about um...well it's just...there's been...lately I've been wondering...I'm trying to figure some stuff out...I...so, I tried to bring it up with him, but I panicked and said something stupid that I was just teasing about because like how could it be true, right? But apparently it was and I hit a nerve and now he hates me."

Caitlin's face was set in a deep frown.

"Say something, please."

"Cisco," she said, "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"I know, I should be able to tell you, right? I was going to tell him. I can't, because I think I--I might be making it up."

"You're still not making any sense."

"I know! I know." Cisco buried his face in his hands. "And now, I don't know who else would...get it, and I can't find anyone without running into him, and I can't just apologize, because it was really mean, but how was I supposed to know that?"

"You can keep talking but unless you give me a single detail, I won't be able to help you."

"You can't help me anyway," Cisco said. "I'm just sort of freaking out here and I needed to freak out on someone."

"Okay, um, carry on?"

"Yeah, um, was my crush on Lisa inappropriate?"

She blinked. "I don't know how to answer that. I don't really think it's my business."

"But like, not inappropriate like a crush on a teacher, right?"

"Was Lisa your teacher?"

"No! Ugh! That's not the point!"

"What  _ is _ the point?"

"Just...I think I ruined my chances."

"With Lisa?"

"No! Never mind! Forget it."

"I don't even know what I'm forgetting."

"Good. That's good."

"Are you okay?"

"Probably not." Cisco shook his head helplessly. Why was a sexual identity crisis more stressful than finding out he was a metahuman?

Hartley came home to a quiet apartment, though Kiki mewed when he picked her up from her warm spot in a sunbeam. "I just need someone good for me," he told her. She purred. "I mean," he continued, "why the fuck would Cisco even say that? Unless he believed it, right? ...shit. Why'd I admit it? Goddamn it."

"Mrrp?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm just bitching to you because I don't have a boyfriend."

But despite Kiki's presence, the apartment was depressingly empty and Hartley wanted to be near people for some reason, so he put on a jacket and went out to Jitters.

Where Cisco found him.

"Hartley," he said, sliding into the chair across from him. "Look, I'm really sorry."

Hartley closed his eyes and set down his book. "Are you? Why would you even say something like that unless you were trying to find out whether you were right or not?"

"I wasn't, I was just--I panicked."

"Panicked about  _ what _ ?"

"It's. I've. Ugh. I don't know how to talk about this. And I don't want to make it a weird--"

"Shh."

"I know, I'm sorry, I just want to--"

"Shut up and let me listen."

"Listen to wha--"

Hartley pressed a hand over Cisco's mouth. "Shh." He listened. "Warring frequencies, or...I don't know. Something weird. Meta, maybe."

"Mm?"

Hartley moved his hand. "We should check it out. I'm still mad at you."

"I know, but can we talk about--"

"Fuck, left my gauntlets at the lab." He fished a small round device out of his pocket. "Let's hope it's not too dangerous that the travel-version can't handle it."

"You have a travel-version?"

"Preparation is key." He winked.

"Oh my god," Cisco said, his face heating up. "Why do you say things like that?"

"Because I'm surrounded by straight people and don't want you to get complacent."

"Okay, actually, I was going to ask--"

"It can wait." Hartley pushed through the front doors.

"Okay, yes, technically, but it's waited a lot of years and--what are you looking for?"

Hartley peered around a corner into an alley and pointed at a dark-clad figure. "That."

"Okay?"

"That is not normal. Come on." He approached the figure, small sonic device in hand. "Hey."

The figure turned to him. It was tall, with narrow hips and broad shoulders, so  _ probably _ male, but maybe not. He was wearing a hood and a black mask over his face. "STAR Labs," he said in a gravelly voice from hell, pointing at Hartley. "You did this."

"Um," Cisco said. "What did we do?"

"To me," the man growled. "You did this to us."

"If you've changed, become more than human," Cisco said, "we can help you."

"Not you," the man growled. "Him. He knew. He ran and cried like a child and let it happen."

"How could you know that?" Hartley demanded.

"Do you think you suffered for your cowardice? I did." He pressed his palm against the wall...and dipped it into the bricks.

"Whoa," Cisco said. "That's incredible! You're like a ghost or something."

The man laughed. "I've become a god. Even your hero the Flash would be helpless against this power."

"Whoa, okay, dude, what if we cut the supervillain talk and consider the heroic things you could do?"

"No one saw me as a hero when I was alive. Why should I do anything for them now that I've earned a second life?"

"How did you know about me?" Hartley asked.

The masked face turned slowly to him. "It wasn't a coyote." He slammed Hartley into the wall, cracking his head on the bricks. Hartley slid down, dazed, as the meta rounded on Cisco.

"Dude, think about this, we can help you, we can be a team." He tried to block the taller meta, but the man was faster and clocked him in the face.

His fingers were long and elegant and drew Hartley's gaze somehow. Then he remembered his sonic blaster and used it to throw the meta twenty yards down the alley. He was probably concussed, but he staggered down the alley and tackled the ghost as he tried to get up.

"You want an enemy?" Hartley snarled, ripping off the mask to reveal…but…

"Kinda thought he'd be uglier, " Cisco said.

"Liam," Hartley choked. Cisco had been right and he hadn't even tried to find the love of his life even though death was starting to seem like the least probable outcome for anyone in this hellhole city.

"It's a nice body, " Ghost said, "but I'm stronger. " Then he turned insubstantial and vanished through the ground.

Hartley thumped to the ground, staring. "I hit my head," he said.

"I saw it too," Cisco said. "That was the guy in your picture."

"He's possessed," Hartley said.

"Or he and someone else got the same power and now they're stuck together. Or the ghost won't let him go!"

Hartley let out a half-sob, half-scream.

"We'll get him out," Cisco said, gripping Hartley's arms. "We'll fight for him."

"I should have tried harder," Hartley moaned. "I left him!"

"No, hey, you couldn't have known, and who's to say they've been around for all this time? It took Barry months to wake up. They could've been floating around until recently--"

"That's worse," Hartley snapped. His head throbbed and he winced.

"Let's get you back to STAR Labs. Caitlin needs to check you over."

"Yeah," Hartley agreed, letting Cisco help him up.

"And, I'm still really sorry, because if I'd thought there was any chance I was going to hit a nerve with um, what I said, I would never have said it."

Hartley leaned on him, breathing heavily. "I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with whatever it is you're trying to do right now."

"You're bleeding."

"Can you just--" Hartley squeezed his eyes shut, but everything was too overwhelming, and somehow he was gasping into Cisco's shoulder, clutching at his jacket, tears forcing their way out of his eyes. He had a vague sense of being herded somewhere, and Cisco's voice saying, "He's fine, just hit his solar plexus, nothing to see here." Cisco pushed him into a car and pried himself loose. Hartley covered his eyes with his hands and took deep, shuddering breaths to steady himself.

"Buckle," Cisco said. Hartley obeyed automatically. "Are you dizzy?"

Hartley took off his glasses and rubbed them clean on his shirt just to have something to do. "You said this was possible. I was afraid to believe you because then I could never...I could never have someone again if--if I was always waiting for him."

Cisco's guts hurt. "We'll do everything we can to save him."

Caitlin looked Hartley over and pronounced him, "Fine, but keep ice on that bruise for awhile." Cisco went to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He let the disappointment wash over him for a minute, and then he put it aside. Liam needed help, and Hartley needed everyone on his team. It wasn't fair to let Cisco's hurt feelings get in the way of that, so he let himself feel it, and then he resolved to let it pass.

"So," Caitlin said when Cisco came back in the room. "Let me see if I understand this. Two years ago, when the accelerator exploded, your boyfriend Liam disappeared, and today, you found him, but he's able to become insubstantial, and he's possessed by someone?"

"Anything else is just guesswork," Cisco said. "But there's a lot of empty space in particles. In theory, you could pack multiple groups of particles in the same space if you configured it correctly. If Liam became...insubstantial, or rather, he has control over his atoms' movement, someone else could have been there too and is inhabiting the same space."

"Sounds like...ghost possession."

"Yeah. But not. Because science."

"Fucking John Constantine," Hartley said. "He'd call it that, I just know it."

"Why didn't we ever meet your boyfriend, Hartley?" Caitlin asked.

"Because we weren't friends then. God, what if he's not even in there? What if his consciousness is gone?"

"Then we'll find that out, but we can't not try," Cisco said.

"I--no shit! Did you think I was going to not try? I need to think. What am I missing…"

"If we talk to him, maybe we could draw out Liam? He could throw Ghost out?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"We need a way to protect ourselves," Cisco said. "If he can phase through things easier than Barry or Thawne, he's dangerous."

"We should figure out how his power works," Caitlin said.

"This is so completely beyond anything we've seen."

"But how did he become the Ghost? What was the catalyst? There's always some kind of catalyst for metas."

"Is there?" Cisco said. "Because I still don't know what happened to me."

Hartley tapped the desk. "I know what happened to Liam. I don't know what happened to Ghost, but I guess he was close enough to have been caught in the ripples. My gauntlets malfunctioned, and he was holding my hand, and when the wave hit us, he vibrated apart."

"So it's sonic based."

"Oh,  _ shit _ . There  _ are _ two. I heard two separate frequencies in Liam's body. Warring, I guess."

"Can we use that?" Caitlin asked. "If we use your tech to emit Ghost's frequency, could we immobilize him so Liam can escape?"

"I--maybe? But I don't know. Immobilizing him might not be an option."

Cisco stepped back. "Whoa, dude, are you saying…"

"Am I saying I will kill the man possessing my boyfriend? Yes, absolutely, in a heartbeat. What the fuck do you think I wouldn't do to save him? It's a short list."

"Dude."

"You morons didn't let me kill Wells and now Eddie's dead, remember? I won't make that mistake again."

"You can't come back from--"

"Shut the  _ fuck  _ up," Hartley snapped. "I am not hearing it. We lock people in tiny cells in solitary because you want to feel morally superior."

There was silence for awhile, and then Caitlin said, "What do you need?"

"I need to get close to him again and scan their frequencies. I need to figure out which one is which because I can't risk killing Liam."

"Maybe that's why you should use the immobilization setting…" Cisco muttered.

"I'm like on the verge of a breakdown here. Do not."

Caitlin said, "Is there any way to force him into solid form so he can't get away?"

"That's something to work at," Cisco agreed.

"Good," Hartley said. "I'm going to find him."

"Um, no? You should wait; we can do this together."

"I can talk to him."

Cisco gripped Hartley's shoulders. "You're not thinking straight."

"Never do."

"I'm serious. He could really hurt you."

"Wonder what that would feel like."

"It's not your boyfriend you'd find. Just Ghost, and we know he's not in a good mood."

"I know Liam. I know he's strong. I have to let him know I'm here for him. He'll come to me." Hartley picked up his scanner. "And we can't do anything without the frequencies anyway. I can't go by ear. I'm good, but not that good. Yet."

"If you just wait a couple hours--"

"You see what you can come up with here. I'm going to find my partner." He pushed past Cisco and out the door.

"He's going to die," Cisco said.

"I'll call Barry," Caitlin said.

"I'm also going to die, but that's not important anymore, I guess," Cisco said.

"What?"

"I was gonna ask him out," Cisco said dejectedly. "But oh well."

"Oh, Cisco. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be, it's...I mean, obviously it's better--it's more important to save Liam, so I'm trying not to think about it anymore."

"I didn't know you were…" Caitlin paused. "Bisexual?"

"Neither does he."

"So that's what you were talking about."

"Yeah."

"I'm calling Barry, but we can talk more about this if you want."

"No, probably not." Cisco sighed and Caitlin pulled out her phone.

Hartley wasn't even sure where to look, but he tried Jitters again. He couldn't hear anything. He called Lena. She wasn't home and had nothing to report. He checked the theater where they'd first met. Nothing. He was about to give up when he got an odd feeling and drove to his parents' building. Still nothing. He gave up and wandered down the street until...there. The frequencies had popped up again. He followed them behind the building, over a fence, and into a warehouse. "Liam?" he said. "I just want to talk."

"And naturally," Ghost said, walking through a shelf and making Hartley jump. "Because if you actually acted, that would be too much for your little heart, wouldn't it?"

Hartley activated the scanner in his pocket. "I missed you," he said. "I hope you can hear me."

"Don't worry about  _ him _ ," Ghost snarled. "He doesn't remember the last two years. I do, I recall agony beyond anything you could ever imagine. I suffered every single second before the warlock brought us back."

John Fucking Constantine. Of course.

Ghost was still talking. "Do you know, I was a family man before the explosion. Allen Dorsey, that was my name."

"You're both in there?"

"So much space in an atom, you know. We fit together so well."

"Can I talk to him?"

Ghost laughed and stepped into Hartley's space. The lower frequency seemed louder. "You want to talk to your sweetheart?" he asked, a cruel smile twisting Liam's gentle features.

"Please," Hartley whispered.

Ghost sneered and dipped his hand into Hartley's chest. "I could make it solid," he mused. "Tear your heart right out. Or just...squeeze. So delicate, the inner workings of a human body."

Hartley stared in horror at the arm in his chest. Reality set in and he realized he could die alone here, while Liam watched, helpless. Tears slid from his eyes. "Please," he begged, hating himself.

"I really don't need to, do I? I've already got your heart where I want it just by riding this body around." Then Ghost looked surprised, then angry, and he yanked his hand out of Hartley's chest. The higher frequency surged in strength. "Run!" he yelled. "Go, I can't hold him long!"

"I can't leave you!" Hartley sobbed.

"I know you'll save me," Liam said, gritting his teeth, "but not if he kills you now."

"Liam, please." Hartley tried to touch his face but suddenly he was back in his car.

"What is wrong with you?" Barry demanded. "He just tried to kill you!"

"Um," Hartley said. "How much did Caitlin and Cisco tell you?"

"Enough. Did you get what you needed?"

Hartley pulled the scanner out of his pocket. "Yeah. And I know who's who."

"So you're going to uh, use that. To like. Vibrate him to death?"

"If I have to."

Barry swallowed. "That's a horrible way to go. Or, I mean, it sounds like."

Hartley nodded. "Probably. Wait." He turned to Barry. "What's that face?"

"Uh. Nothing."

"Oh my god. You...I...did I? I mean, it worked?"

"Well. Yes. Until Wells--evil Wells--used satellites to break your gauntlets by reversing the...something, I don't know, I'm the CSI guy, not the sonic engineer."

"I'm trying to figure out if I should apologize for that or not."

"Well, technically you didn't do it, but alternate timeline you did, and I remember it, but I guess you aren't actually responsible, or…" Barry shook his head. "Doesn't matter now. We're dealing with this Ghost."

Caitlin, Cisco, Barry, and Hartley gathered 'round the computer. "Allen Dorsey," Cisco said. "No criminal record, technically, but the neighbors called the cops on him for beating his wife about twenty times. I called her, but she says she hasn't seen anyone fitting Liam's description. He's fixated on you, but I don't know what his plan is."

"Oh good," Hartley said. "Now I don't feel bad."

"Can you at least  _ try _ to just immobilize him?"

"Not if I risk Liam."

Caitlin cut in. "What if using the gauntlets on Ghost kills both of them? I know you know which frequency to use, but what if when Ghost breaks apart, so does Liam?"

"It'll work," Hartley said. "It has to." He sighed. "Okay. You're right. I'll try freezing him first."

"Are you okay?" Cisco asked.

Hartley shook his head, all snark gone. "I'm not going to be okay until this is over and he's back in my arms. I'm going to find him. Actually, I'm going to check on Lena and Kiki first, just in case."

"I can come with you," Barry suggested.

"Nope, I want you to stay with them. We don't know where he'll show up, and I have the gauntlets. I will call you if I hear him."

Hartley quietly entered his apartment. Lena was asleep in his bed. Kiki was nestled on her butt. He closed the bedroom door and jerked as a knock sounded on the front door. He could hear the frequencies. He opened the door.

"Hi," the Ghost said, smiling awkwardly. "Um. It's me. I'm okay."

The lower frequency hummed much louder than the higher one. Hartley stayed still. "You uh. You scared me," he said.

"I know, honey. I'm sorry. But he's gone. I got rid of him for good."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"Yeah, pretty sure. Uh, but I have a hard time staying together, see?" He waved his hand through the doorjamb. "Maybe you could take me to your lab and fix it?"

Hartley assessed. He wanted Ghost far away from Lena and Kiki, and his apartment was a bad place for a smackdown fight--or, for that matter, an execution.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, come on. I'll drive you. Uh, let me call Cisco real quick and let him know we're coming and that you're all right."

Ghost stayed his hand. "Can't we go right away? Before I fall to pieces again?"

Hartley paused. "Okay," he said. He stepped out the door, still carrying his pack, and locked it. "After you."

"Yeah. You're not going to hug me?"

Hartley's mind raced. "Sorry, I just--you scared me pretty bad. Let's get you fixed up and talk about it, okay?"

"Oh, all right," Ghost said. Hartley hated how much he sounded like Liam. He hated even more how Allen was mocking them both, intentionally making Liam's voice higher and even more stereotypically effeminate, unless, of course, Liam was just trying to reach Hartley, since Hartley knew what his boyfriend sounded like. In either case, Hartley really hated Dorsey.

He drove them to STAR Labs in silence.

"How'd you throw him out?" Hartley finally asked as he let them into the building.

"Oh, I just...I don't know, I just wanted it bad enough."

"But he's still out there?"

"I guess! He's not here anymore, that's what matters."

"Yeah," Hartley said. "I'm glad you're back."

"So what to do about my...little problem?"

"Good question," Hartley said, pulling out his gauntlets. "What the fuck is in STAR Labs that you want might be another one, and why can't you get it yourself, since you can go through walls."

"Ah," Dorsey said. "Not convincing?"

"You hate gay people, don't you."

"I hardly care."

"Yeah, you do. You've been mocking the way he speaks this entire time. But hey, misogynists and homophobes are mostly the same people." Hartley shot a low burst of sonic waves at Ghost, throwing him against the wall just as Cisco and Caitlin came running in.

"Keep doing that and you're going to damage your lover's body," Dorsey groaned, staggering upright.

"I'll risk it," Hartley snarled, activating the immobilization frequency.

Dorsey frowned but was unaffected by it. He ran Liam's fingers through the gauntlets, making them spark. "Now what, Hartley?" he said, grabbing him by the throat. "How does it feel to be powerless?" He threw Hartley over the desk, knocking down projects.

Barry ran at Dorsey, but he ghosted and Barry ran around empty-handed.

"I think I  _ will _ tear out your heart this time," Dorsey said. "Just for the fun of it, really." He strode toward Hartley, who frantically dug in his pocket. As Ghost reached for Hartley's chest, he suddenly jerked, dropping to his knees. "Just," he whispered, "do something."

Hartley swallowed and activated his mini-blaster. It emitted a vibration no one else could hear, but Liam collapsed on the ground, phasing in and out and shrieking. "I'm sorry!" Hartley said desperately.

"DON'T TURN IT OFF--AGH!" Liam yelled as blood poured from his mouth and disappeared. He convulsed violently for thirty more seconds, and then he disappeared, leaving a bloody body with horrifying contusions everywhere.

Hartley turned off the blaster, crawled to the body, and flipped it over. The bloodied face was Dorsey's. All the blood vessels in his eyes had burst, and Cisco looked away, clapping a hand over his mouth. Caitlin checked Dorsey's pulse. "Dead," she said.

Hartley felt a strange sense of power and pride mingled with a gross sensation of responsibility he didn't want. None of that mattered now. "Liam," he said. "Come back. Please come back."

But there was only silence in response.

"Please come back to me," Hartley whispered.

They waited. Minutes passed. Finally Cisco said, "Hartley...he may not be coming back."

"Shut up. Don't you dare. He is." But the dead body on the floor was oozing, and the vibration that had killed it had temporarily deadened Hartley's superhearing. "God damn it!" he screamed. "I need you! I can't live without you! We deserve this!" He sniffled helplessly. "We should get to have this," he said more quietly.

"Oh my GOD."

Hartley looked up.

"Worst experience  _ ever _ ," Liam complained. "That creeper just died  _ inside me _ . It's like that  _ Queer as Folk _ episode except like a million times worse."

Hartley let out a breath and crashed into him, arms squeezing the breath out of him. Liam snaked an arm around Hartley's back and cradled the back of his neck in his other hand.

"I'm about to have a breakdown," Liam warned, pressing his face against Hartley's cheek.

"Are you okay? Physically?"

"Yeah. Still ghosty, but I think I get how it works now. I'm also going to literally figuratively die because I am NOT emotionally okay! He used my body and he was a raging psychotic bigoted FUCK and I was in his head and he was in mine and I am FUCKING NOT ALL RIGHT."

"Oh my god," Hartley murmured. "But you're here. You're here. I got you back."

"I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I'm starving and I'm going to have a meltdown very soon."

Caitlin said, "Let me check you over first. You got thrown around a few times."

Liam whined into Hartley's hair but let go of him and took a small step back. "Fine, just make it quick. No offense but this is like the last place I want to be right now." He spotted the corpse on the floor and gagged. "Oh fuck, that's disgusting. That's so much blood. Too much. Oh my god. You killed him."

"I didn't have a choice," Hartley said, eyes begging Liam for forgiveness.

"I know, honey, but like, are you okay? Like holy crap. You killed someone."

"Happy to live with it," Hartley said, taking his hand.

"Let's go in the next room and look you over," Caitlin said.

"Oh, cool," Cisco said. "Yeah, we'll just handle the dead body. That's fine."

"Well, I'm not fucking touching it," Liam said. "Not this boy. Done enough of that."

"I'll call Joe," Barry said. "We're not going to hide this."

"Do what you want," Hartley said. "As long as I don't end up in jail. I have a family now." He followed Caitlin and Liam out of the room.

"Okay," Barry said. Hartley's hearing was coming back, and he could still hear them talking through the wall. "So, I'm skeptical about having him on our team."

"He didn't have a choice," Cisco said.

"He  _ killed _ him."

"Is that different from intentionally setting time wraiths on Zoom? Plus…" Cisco glanced at the door. "It's not like we didn't know he had it in him. Sometimes I think he was right about Thawne. Eddie would still be alive."

"So, what, you want to make him the designated killer of the team? I don't like that."

"Have we ever faced something like Ghost possessing someone we loved? I didn't say we should just let him kill people because it's easy and it keeps our hands clean. Only that, if we're going to be fighting monsters so often, people are going to die, and maybe sometimes those people should be the bad guys instead of the good guys. Can't we call this a victory?"

Barry was quiet for a minute, and then said, "I'm gonna call Joe."


	7. Chapter 7

Caitlin pronounced Liam "bruised, but only one rib is cracked. Keep it taped up and let me look at it in two days. Take these as needed." and Hartley drove them both home. His hearing came back in the car, and he could mercifully hear Liam's high frequency.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said as he helped Liam out of the car.

"I'm glad that fuckhead didn't kill you," Liam countered. "Ow." He limped, leaning against Hartley, into the building.

"Elevator?"

"Please."

"I could order Chinese or something," Hartley said as he unlocked the door.

"Anything works. I haven't eaten in years."

Hartley helped him to the couch, but Liam dragged him down when he tried to go to the kitchen. "Honey, until these painkillers kick in, you're stuck with me."

Hartley kissed his cheek. "Wouldn't want it any other way." He swallowed as his eyes burned. "It has been so hard without you."

Liam closed his eyes. "I love you, and I want to talk about your sads, but...I need time to deal with my own. Hand me a pillow please."

Hartley did so, and Lena came into the living room with Kiki just in time to see Liam scream into the pillow. "Jesus, Hartley, what'd you do to him?" she asked.

"I...so much, but it's over."

"Shut up, you fucking drama queen, you didn't do anything to me," Liam said, smacking him with the pillow. "Weren't you going to order food?"

"Wait," Lena said. "Who are--you look like--I mean, no one. You look like no one."

Hartley held up a hand. "No one stays dead in this town. This is Liam. Liam, this is Lena, my roommate."

"Wow," she said. "Things are coming up Hartley lately, aren't they. First the hot limey and now the dead boyfriend. Where's your credit card; I'll order the food."

"Get a job," Hartley said, handing her his wallet.

"Lobby for minimum wage raises, rich boy."

"You're the one working at a non-profit."

"Whatever."

Liam draped himself over Hartley. "I know two years is a long time. For me it was no time."

"Oh, god," Hartley said. "I mean, if you think I've changed too much too fast, if you don't want me, I…"

"I was going in the opposite direction, babe."

"Are you joking? Shut up. I want you."

"Oh good. All settled then. Where is my stuff? I need clothes. Oh god, I'm behind. What do people wear now? FUCK. Someone got MY PART in Chicago!"

"Oh, I saw that. Like a year and a half ago?" Lena said. "Were you going to be the lawyer guy, because he totally sucked."

"YES. THAT WAS MY PART. I mean, I hadn't been cast yet, but it was so my year. Did Kevin get it? Fucking Kevin. He's straight, and he's not even a good actor, but he keeps getting roles because he 'looks the part'. Like I couldn't play a straight guy for an hour? This is bullshit. I have to establish myself again. Ugh. Two year gap on the old resume. I'm fucked."

Hartley twisted around and kissed him. "Hey, it'll be okay. We'll get you back on stage. We'll get you clothes and shit. You can stay with me as long as you want, up to and including forever. Ideally that."

"Mmkay," Liam said, eyes drooping and a lazy smile warming his face.

"Are they working then?"

"Mmhm. Dr. Snow's a nice lady. Are you ordering me food or not?"

Lena gave him the kitten and picked up the phone. "Yeah, he is; what do you want? Everything? Because if you can wrangle this sulky bitch--whom I love very much--I will order you the entire menu."

"With my card," Hartley said, but he was gazing, enamored, at Liam playing with Kiki.

"I'll just make a guess then," Lena said.

Liam looked up. "Oh hell no. I am super picky. I want Mongolian beef and three egg rolls. Oh and those Chinese donut things. If I get fat, I'm still a better actor than Kevin. I could play Hamlet's dad now," he said suddenly.

"That's a weird role to want, but all right. I'm gonna call now."

"I'm a ghost," Liam said to Hartley. "Does that make me a superhero?"

"You've missed a lot," Hartley said, petting Kiki. "When the accelerator exploded, a lot of people got powers. We call them metahumans."

"Did you?"

"Yeah. Tinnitus from hell. I've got it controlled now with these."

"I was gonna ask."

"Yeah. I can also hear things outside the spectrum of human hearing."

"Cool shit! We're superhuman. But how's your normal hearing?"

"Different, honestly. I can usually manage fine as long as I have my hearing aids. Without them, it's like everything's trying to get in. It's really painful. Kind of like all the speakers at a death metal concert are blasting feedback right next to my ears at the highest volume. I'm learning to sign, in case I have to remove my eardrums someday."

"Aw, honey."

"I'm okay. The signing should have been my birthright, thanks Dad, so that at least feels right."

"Sounds kind of scary."

"I'm used to it, I guess. And hey, we can be freaks together."

"Feels very metaphorical. For a straight audience. I don't like it. Like X-Men."

Hartley kissed him as Lena said, "X-Men is pretty gay."

"Was referring to their disability metaphor," Liam managed to say as Hartley slid his fingers into Liam's hair and pulled him in, effectively cutting off further discussion of the X-Men and literary criticism. Lena picked up Kiki and went into the other room to order dinner.

Hartley was okay. Liam was okay. They were okay, and they were together, and popular cultural messages could go straight to hell because this? This was his happy ending, and no one was taking that from him ever again.


End file.
